Poem -
First Glance
At first glance, brings beauty in eyes from afar
Glancing in wonderment, such perfect awe
Not looking to find anything deeper, or more
First glance will be just fine, completely, on par.
Don’t delve into darkness of caves underground,
Take care not to notice the vacant empty spaces
Take pleasure in the silence of what stillness traces.
Deeper are the caverns, that make, not a sound.
Face value, is second of endless emptiness,
Take heed and lay down low,
Allow the suffering stillness to grow
At first glance, keeps withstanding of blissful happiness
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Comments
Excellent write......all smiles
Thank you, much appreciated :)
You may have been gone for a week, but you were NOT idle!!
The seemingly simple (though actually quite profound) subject matter is belied by the sophistication of style and method.
The enveloped rhymes and subtly varied meter brilliantly slows down the pacing of the poem and allows the reader the breathing space to fully absorb the images and the thoughts and ideas they convey.
Lorna, THIS is why I said I believe in you!!!
Brilliant!!!
J xxx
oh, thank you so much J, you truly have a way with words that most of us mere mortals can only hope to partially achieve x
I chose to view First Glance and found that it required much, much more! I'm presently back with Cosmofunnel, after having visited a number of times before...so, hopefully, I'm now going to be one of the regular visitors?! I like the options of reviews and comments. Enjoyable opportunities to share and to learn.
Thank you for your comments, and for viewing my poem, constructive critism, duely noted to help me grow as an artist, can you elaborate? ?
'Elaborate', I'm more than happy to! I'm an artist myself and have to admit to my own obsession with art, and artwork...of almost every form!
I retired from my profession in 2010 - I'd been an ADI (DSA ADI, in full) - now, I'm almost as busy as I've ever been. As an ADI, my focus was on introducing people to 'the art of safe driving'. Nowaday's focus: the evolution and developments of my own art related interests, and those of family and friends! (presently, the newest friend is you! ;)
Each and every artist sees life differently. I don't believe they've ever formed art colleges that can accurately instruct one, there! However, self-taught artists are freer than many art students may be. Perhaps, when artists exchange ideas and views, it may allow for further development - to 'grow'? One aspect which I'm actively involved is the process of building (literally), to the rear of our house, which will include an art Studio and Workshop. Maybe "a second home"? However, that's a steady self-build project. (it'll be ready when it's eady!).
I'm happy that this contact has occurred. Previously, my visits to this particular site were merely ones of a number within a range of sites! So, with thanks, we'll speak again!
Ewen
Thank you Ewan, it was a pleasure chatting with you and I hope to hear more of your views. I try to always receive critique with the intention to learn. I am also a lover of art in many forms and find that art plays a role for me, in self-fulfillment.