Fuel

Filled with emotions ranging from A-Z
the past to blame for the bad ones

No need to worry they can cure them
medications for each one from A-Z

The more you think the more you drink
fuel produced from these thoughts

Propelling your thoughts into actions
and leaving yourself with regrets

Fuel your grief with a prescribed pill
don't mind the side effects it brings

Now your same thoughts of trauma
are diluted to even less of yourself

But no one can seem to understand
how you became this way or why?

The only time you smile it is forced
you find happiness in being numb

You rather feel nothing at all than pain
so you keep doing as the doctor says

A pill for a problem and a pill for that pill
because it causes more problems too

Side effects of cures for other problems
before you know it you're a pill head

Bottles and bottles all with your name
and special instructions for each one

Some contradict each-others directions
but you feel you have to take them all

Take twice daily on an empty stomach
one says on the label in bold letters

The other states take as needed daily 
but only after eating a complete meal

You cannot truly remember all of this
regardless you take them all at once

Many years of this reliance and routine
and truthfully you forget the fuel for it

Your reasoning behind the first medication
nor why you got prescribed many more

Fuel to your mind from the comfort of drugs, you don't really even know yourself at all

Everyone around you fuels your confidence
because on paper your health is all good

You're no better than you ever were before
but you're not your emotional self anymore

Is this really healthy and a sustainable life
I ask myself for you as I want you to heal

Knowing with support and strength you could work to fix yourself and actually feel good

But we both know truly it's way to late for that, because the pills have fueled dependency

Without these prescribed medications 
you wouldn't know what to do

That's the part that really kills me
and fuels my motivation

To try to work on myself naturally 
proving it is not impossible

Regardless the degree of trauma
it just takes time and patience

But the doctors and hospitals
would go out of business

The big drug companies
would lose their asses

There's no profit 
in self help

That's what 
kills us