Gift VIII

Five pages left in my journal
If I was the old me
I would've burned you
I wanted every page in you to be perfect
Almost trashed you but keeping you was worth it
I ripped some pages out you as my way of starting over
Now you're almost done and two years older
From my dreams to my demons
All of me you know of
Forgive me for all the negativity you hold but
I had to put it all on you
I have no one
And I mean NO ONE
I'll be damned to share my insecurities with and suicidal demons
With someone who makes a blade from it to keep me bleeding
From scab-stitched
Still in progress of healing
And destroy me with what I'm feeling
Damn it
My rhyming sounds poor

"It's alright, rhyme on
Say what you bout to say
Say what you got to say
What's on your mind
I've been with you all this time
Always will be
For all the times you need to be heard
Ease your nerves
Bleed your words
Feed your urge to be heard to be
I'm always listening
Always loved your art
I know you're different
Always gave me pure feelings
Gave me realness
From you dreams and wishes
To your demons within
Your sister bought me two years ago for Christmas
Yet I feel I've known you your whole existence
I'm kinda glad no one is ever there for you
I enjoy being here for you
You fill my soul with beauty
You give me life
Even when sharing your darkness
You give me light
Long as my pages have your art I'll survive
In my book
You'll always be the Most Inspiring Artist Alive
So do what you do best
Spit your soul
Grace my last few pages
Make me whole"

It's nice to know you find my art special
Even when I stress over others being better
I make sure I pay respect to real poets and give credit
At the same time I sink into depression
If I can't keep up with them
What chance do I have of being signed
J. Cole will hear my flow and may feel I wasted his time
Or Kendrick
Everyone is different
I get it
I just-

"Need to praise yourself just as much
Remember your dream and have patience
Ain't no rush
You're gonna be legendary
But remember time is part of the process
Just continue to come from the heart
And you'll progress
You're the best
Never less
You're amazing
You are greatness
You're the Most Inspiring Artist Alive
That's your crown
No one can take it
There are souls who can use your words
You have the power to save them
Your art, your creations
That will be their medication
So never stop creating
Make an example out of yourself
And you'll naturally impact everyone else
Use your gift"