god's confession

I was sitting along
In a god forsaken bar
Somewhere on the lunatic fringes
Of society
 
On the bad part of town
Over by railroad tracks 
Heading to hell
As fast as I could drink it down
 
Enjoying my lonely drink
Drinking by my lonesome self

With my partners
Jimmy Dean, and the Walker brother
And his old Granddad

Just drinking and hanging
With the Jack Daniel's gang
 
A crazed bum
With a thousand year stare
Walks up to me
 
He begins
Muttering to himself

Nutty nonsense
Crazy words
In a lunatic's voice
 
He had the look
Of one possessed 
By his own demons

That only he can see
Or hear

Possessed by a secret knowledge
Only he knew
 
Despite myself
I was fascinated 
By this lunatic's tale
 
So, I stopped him 
And said

So, what's your game
Anyway
 
The short little dude
Stopped his insane prattle

Starting at me
With that thousand year old stare
 
Just another washed up
Lunatic

Too many drugs
Too many bad nights
On the wrong side of life

An acid causality from the 60’s
Went out so far
Down the LSD rabbit hole
Never came back

He looked at me
And proclaimed his story
 
He reared up
And filled up the room

And lifted the bar
On his finger

And stared down at me
From the sky
 
And said
Since you asked

I am God
The alpha and Omega
The real deal

The original dude of dudes
The sultan of Swing
God of hosts
And father of that Jesus dude
 
But no one knows me 
Any more
No one cares

They think I am irrelevant
They think I am dead

They think I am a fairy tale
From some olden, ancient time
 
Some say I am dead
Others think I should be dead
That my work is done
 
I looked at him
Carefully now
And what did I see

An old man
With that lunatic look
But there was something else
 
He was crazy
Sure yes
But perhaps he was the real deal
 
I mean why not
Why would not God be
A lunatic wandering around loose

Talking to low lives like me
In a bar
On the way to hell
 
So, I looked at him
And invited him to share
His tale of woe
 
God tells me
Well, it's like this
 
Many a year ago
People believed in me

But one day
They quit believing in me
And they went on without me
 
As they left me 
My powers got weaker and weaker
And so eventually I became
What you see today
 
A broken down drunk
Hanging out 
Looking for a hand out
Looking for some company
Or at least a free dinner
 
And he laughed and laughed
And I looked at him
And saw the beginnings of the end
And the ends of the beginnings

I saw a million planets 
Flash by 
A billion people
A trillion sentient beings

Thinking all at once
Thoughts filled my head
Lights flashed

And I knew
He was telling the truth

But it did not matter
In this day and age
Of materialism
 
God has no role
God is truly dead

And so, I bought him a drink
And walked out of the bar
Profoundly sadden by what I had seen
 
God was dead
And we had all conspired 
To kill him
 
Long live God

Published in Otherwise Engaged, Vol 1 2018