Gold Brick

My cousin visited me last year and he is a loafer.
He took my only bedroom and I slept on the sofa.
He said he'd look for a job if his car didn't have a busted motor.
He is my only cousin but he also turned out to be a freeloader.
I saw nothing but misery when he was here.
He ate most of my food and drank my beer.
When I told him to leave, his ears must have been filled with wax.
One day, I baked him a chocolate layered cake and I used ex-lax. 
He gave me no money to help with the bills, the jerk never gave me a dime.
He ate that whole chocolate cake and he had to take a dump fourteen times.
He made me so angry that I nearly came unglued.
I baked him a meatloaf that I made from dog food.
After he puked, he was so mad that he got in his car and left as fast as he could.
His car's motor wasn't busted after all and I was thrilled because he left for good.
He's my kin but he's also a gold brick.
If your cousin wants to stay with you, tell him to go suck a dick.