Goofy Stuff

In her lifetime, a cow produces

Two hundred thousand glasses of milk

Wow, they must be total wrecks

After a hundred they must start to wilt

Your average domestic cat bombs along

At about thirty-one miles an hour

Especially if old family dog, Rover

Is attempting her hide to devour

Did you know that old George W. Bush

Was once a cheerleader in college

I'll bet your life is finally complete

Since I passed on that bit of knowledge

People spend over three and a half years

Whiling away life on the can

Headstones should be shaped like toilet bowls

And also be equipped with a fan

There's a town in PA called Intercourse

I wonder what prompted the townsfolk

To call their town such a provocative name

Guess it was their idea of a joke

Studies show most Australian women

Will have sex on the very first date

Booking my ticket tomorrow morning

Heard their climate also is great

Seems the next place after the bedroom

Most people have sex in the car

I'm writing this poem from the back seat

Of my gorgeous Nissan GT-R

A thousand birdies die each year

From smashing headlong into windows

Sure not the smartest of God's little creatures

Just one step up from the minnow

Okay, just a bit more of this crazy talk

Then I really must take my leave

You lose weight by just smelling bananas

I find that quite hard to believe!