Grandma Joan

Grandma Joan,

I know you're up there
You can stop hiding 
This is a message to you in writing
Your journey and mine, time to compare

Only want to say everything
The most important to my least
But I've begun discovering
I'm sending prayers of desperation, I'd disgust a priest

I'm 20 now isn't that unbelievable
No, never hugging you again is what's truly inconceivable

I will make the best of life just for you
A simple present, a small token
I hope my success shall make due

Bitterly sighing, a sharp knife of air
Each breathe seems to grip my heart like a snare
I have something I've always wanted to share
I was too embarrassed to tell you how beautiful you are when you were there