A Great Bedtime Elixir

A giant glass of warmed up milk
A great bedtime elixir
Don't know bout you, all my dear dear friends
Prefer pie as a bedtime fixer

Now I know I'm being extremely naughty
But just turned eighty, by cracky
Who gives a poop if I'm a contrary old geezer
It's my right I've accepted my fate

Always been known as a sweet old duffer
Time to call a spade a spade
Thought you knew me, sure fooled all youse guys
The crankiest homo sapien made

My most intimate friends know not to cross me
To feel my wrath would be deadly
They stay clear of any controversial subjects
So they don't make the boat unsteady

At one time in my life it was important to me
To be loved and to have lotsa friends
Not any more just couldn't give two hoots
Seventy-eight and nearing the end

Who knows how much time we all have left
No guarantees we'll even see tomorrow
So from this day forward gonna make my own rules
From now on gonna rest on my laurels