Hi Dean, what a joy to read ! now THAT'S a Haiku!!! You, my friend, have encouraged me to take your comments on boards and to keep on working whilst learning ..A good piece of work my friend and pinned for future referral!!Β
Lodigiana x
I'm really glad to hear that, Lodigiana.
I've noticed there's not too much haiku, senryu or tanka poetry written on Cosmo. When someone does write one it's virtually ignored.
That's a shame.
If it's done properly haiku can say a lot in very few words and be quite impactful.
Keep those creative waters flowing.
Haiku Hugs! ~DeanΒ :}
Hi Dean, I love trying out new stuff but am not always sure how to do it!!! I published a Tanka some time ago but was unsure of metre etc..would you mind giving an honest critique as that's the only way to learn and improve?Thanks so much x
''Forever mourning.
A love I hoped eternal,
yet lives in my dreams,
alive and ever vibrant,
makes mockery of my pain''
''Forever mourning.
A love I hoped eternal,
yet lives in my dreams,
alive and ever vibrant,
makes mockery of my pain''Β ... The tanka poem is very similar to haiku but has more syllables and uses simile, metaphor and personification. In its purest form, tanka poems are most commonly written as expressions of gratitude, love, or self-reflection.
Suitors would send a tanka to a woman the day after a date, and she would reply in kind. These were short messages (like secret letters) expressing love, desire, meaning, or gratitude.
Because tanka poems are meant to be given to someone, they are written from the viewpoint of the poet. That doesn't mean they must always be written in the first person, but the poet is ever-present, always writing to express personal feelings about the subject. Tanka poems are usually one long sentence broken purposefully between all five lines.
I saw nothing about your tanka that requires altering in any way, Ana. In fact it's a very well written tanka in my opinion. ~DeanΒ :}
That's so helpful DeanΒ and really interesting as knowing the background always helps with the construction..How lovely that they were written as 'secret letters' that certainly would put a slightly different slant to them- this will be a great help- thank you so much !Β
Lodigiana x
Creative haiku. Unique alliterations that flow off the lips smooth as silk. Nice visual image to boot.Β while skeletal trees whisperβ like this... I can see the resemblance of the trees... of a skeleton like image. Kinda spooky. Fall takes a bough, yes,you speak of a season which a haiku represents seasons and nature. The image and words fills the void of my imagination. Outstanding haiku! BOO Ghost~
Hey, Boo!
Great to hear from you and get your take on this haiku, my friend!
I appreciate you reading and I'm really glad you liked it.
Take care, buddy! ~Spooky ?β οΈ
I too love the haiku format, Leah. So much can be said in so few words if it is properly written.
Thank you so much for deciding to read and comment on mine. ~DeanΒ :}
Comments
:)
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Hi Dean, what a joy to read ! now THAT'S a Haiku!!! You, my friend, have encouraged me to take your comments on boards and to keep on working whilst learning ..A good piece of work my friend and pinned for future referral!!Β
Lodigiana x
*Board* not Boards!!!
Β
?
I'm really glad to hear that, Lodigiana.
I've noticed there's not too much haiku, senryu or tanka poetry written on Cosmo. When someone does write one it's virtually ignored.
That's a shame.
If it's done properly haiku can say a lot in very few words and be quite impactful.
Keep those creative waters flowing.
Haiku Hugs!
~DeanΒ :}
Hi Dean, I love trying out new stuff but am not always sure how to do it!!! I published a Tanka some time ago but was unsure of metre etc..would you mind giving an honest critique as that's the only way to learn and improve?Thanks so much x
''Forever mourning.
A love I hoped eternal,
yet lives in my dreams,
alive and ever vibrant,
makes mockery of my pain''
''Forever mourning.
A love I hoped eternal,
yet lives in my dreams,
alive and ever vibrant,
makes mockery of my pain''Β ... The tanka poem is very similar to haiku but has more syllables and uses simile, metaphor and personification. In its purest form, tanka poems are most commonly written as expressions of gratitude, love, or self-reflection.
Suitors would send a tanka to a woman the day after a date, and she would reply in kind. These were short messages (like secret letters) expressing love, desire, meaning, or gratitude.
Because tanka poems are meant to be given to someone, they are written from the viewpoint of the poet. That doesn't mean they must always be written in the first person, but the poet is ever-present, always writing to express personal feelings about the subject. Tanka poems are usually one long sentence broken purposefully between all five lines.
I saw nothing about your tanka that requires altering in any way, Ana. In fact it's a very well written tanka in my opinion.
~DeanΒ :}
That's so helpful DeanΒ and really interesting as knowing the background always helps with the construction..How lovely that they were written as 'secret letters' that certainly would put a slightly different slant to them- this will be a great help- thank you so much !Β
Lodigiana x
Sure, Lodigiana.
Anytime. :)
Loved it Dean.
Thanks a bunch, Susan.Β ? I'm glad ya' liked it.
Warmest wishes,
~DeanΒ :}
wondrous ink. most enjoyable read
Thanks, Lisa.
~Dean
Creative haiku. Unique alliterations that flow off the lips smooth as silk. Nice visual image to boot.Β while skeletal trees whisperβ like this... I can see the resemblance of the trees... of a skeleton like image. Kinda spooky. Fall takes a bough, yes,you speak of a season which a haiku represents seasons and nature. The image and words fills the void of my imagination. Outstanding haiku! BOO Ghost~
Hey, Boo!
Great to hear from you and get your take on this haiku, my friend!
I appreciate you reading and I'm really glad you liked it.
Take care, buddy!
~Spooky ?β οΈ
One thing I love about Haiku is its succinctness. Great one. I really loved it.
I too love the haiku format, Leah. So much can be said in so few words if it is properly written.
Thank you so much for deciding to read and comment on mine.
~DeanΒ :}