Hard Life

Through my dark days
My family were broken in two
My mother suffered whilst my daddy acted like a fool
The sad days 
Where he would beat her up and then she would box me too
I have the scars to prove it's true 
And it hurts me every time I look in the mirror
Looking at my body getting thinner and thinner
The black marks against my chest
Not one day I could get a rest 
Then my dad looks at me 
And wonders why I question him for being such a sinner 
But he doesn't understand that it was him that got me so bitter
I was hurting from the age of 6
They say, "sticks and stones may break your bones" 
But I was already broken before I could even say I was grown

And it's mad how my mother took them blows
HITS after HITS 
SLAPS after SLAPS 
Then you wonder if this is what my dad thought made him a man
Reality is this ain't no show
Unfortunately 
This is all real life 
So listen close

I was 8 when my mother took the father role 
I had two for the price of one 
But this was no joke 
She was working two jobs trying to make ends mean, 
Even with that we still didn't have enough food to eat
Emptiness filled the house 
With NO clothes to wear, NO place to run 
I wondered how other kids had fun 
WISHING and PRAYING for my rescue to come 
Yet pin drop silence with my brother's tears I hear
And I'm not even done
I'm nowhere near

I would sit at night and hear my mother cry, 
"Why lord? What have I done? Please tell me why? 
And in the morning
She would act like she's alright
But in her eyes
You could see she's dying inside 
She was a single mum with two kids
Now she truly knew what hell is 

I vowed to never shed a tear like my mother
But due to my father 
I could never know what a man's love truly could be
All I wanted was to be happy 
But due to my father 
I believed them boys when they said I was ugly 
Never had a man to tell me how beautiful I am
But due to my father 
I sought the wrong attention from a man 
Just to hear someone say they love me 
All because he wasn't there to parent me
I'm so unlucky 
"Daddy's little princess"
It could NEVER relate to me 

Imagine travelling to south, 
Just to link my so called man 
For him to tell me, 
"You're so beautiful and nobody can,
Can ever separate what we have."
But why did I walk into your room that night
And see your naked body in bed with a next gyal 

Hurt, 
Hurt is what I felt for ages
But dad WHERE were you to tell me don't worry kid?
WHERE were you to tell me about life?
WHERE were you to tell me it's going to be alright?
WHY did you mess me up so young?
WHY did you allow me to grow up before my childhood was done?
Daddy, I have so many questions
Why did you allow me to remember you like this:
You would travel around like no mans business 
Having different relationships with different types of women 
At the age of 14 
I found out I had two older brothers by a different mother 
And all you could say was, "I'm sorry my daughter"
SORRY can only get you so far in life 
SORRY was too late because by this time 
I had 8 years of built up anger boiling up inside 
Anger towards men 
Anger towards Life 
How was I supposed to live life with no happiness in slight? 

But I thank you Mum for everything you have done
Your strong exterior taught me to love myself
Dad if you only saw me when I was 16 
I became a greater me with a wonderful boy that truly appreciated me,
But just to think
I never really had a dad 
Just had a man that gave me life 
Even when you came back 
I got scared at night that you might clear from my sight
But it's fine 
I got mum 
I got God 
And that's all the love I'm going to need in this long run

Just hit 19
Happy birthday to me, 
I guess it's alright to admit that life wasn't okay
Because the only way I got through the day 
Was by praying each day 
Through that i had lots to say 
That's why I believe so much today