Hidden Cracks

Chained sincerely to my insanity, I feel mocked, gun held to my head locked and stocked ready to fire, inspire my raging hell.  Its silent, reliant on dark thoughts in dwell, I fell, stumbled a long time ago and lost my flow, stuck in this hell.

Trapped every time I attempt to break, forsake my endless pain, I refrain for the sake of all others, my empathy smothers my conscience, why can’t I let go and smash, be crass and ignite and blow!?

Endless it builds, fulfils my aches and sombre recluse, attempts to repent are no use, I refuse to reject, my tears are my own, my vision, reflect, strangely amused, you’re obtuse!

I struggle with my process, interaction with you, few are welcome into my world, mostly subdued and glued to my bed, until I am needed, I lay my head in dread, despair, no active direction, no momentum and flare.

With the rising light I ignite my natural flow, to get up, set up myself and go.  The world unaware to my mental state, I create an image of laughter, content, relate, smiles hide cracks deep in grow.