How are you ..she said

The party is kind of boring
Then all changes in a single moment.
I see her standing next to me.
Stunning and sweet as she always was.
Her smile cuts my heart open
like a knife.
Hi how are you she whispers.
I hope she cannot tell I am lying.
As I tell her I am fine and make up
some recent accomplishments.
My mind is on her figure
Her lips her hair.
I might as well be speaking
In a foreign language.
Words falling like snowflakes
Randomly In the wind.
I ask her how she has been
She frowns lightly.
There’s a hole in my life she said.
I fill up our glasses with wine.
Hope raising in my heart
Like the wine filling my glass.
She tells a few happy stories
It’s weekend and a party
happy is a prerequisite.
We drink quickly
To fill our inner emptiness.
And suddenly its midnight
I hold her coat she slips
her arms into the sleeves.
Like we have done a thousand
times before.
I spin her to me we kiss
I remember her and the hurt melts.
She comes back to my flat
We make love the trapped
tears fall inside my eyes.
Then the warmth of her
floods my soul I am bipolar now.
Feeling over the moon.
I should have stayed on an
emotional carousel not jumped
onto the roller coaster.
I can’t hold it back
I spoil it all.
I love you honey
So much
Please come back to me.
She stiffened slightly in my arms.
The moment was lost.
We will see she whispers.
The house is silent I awaken
to the soft click of my door closing.
Her side of my bed is still warm.
I know my half healed heart
Will reopen the cuts she left before.
And I would bleed
like I did when she first left me.