How Much Pride Cost

Thank You God
Because it's 4 in the morning
That whole situation could've went south with no warning
He said he's been out since 11 last night
Wasn't going home until his son's appetite
Was catered to
Because he has a wife
And he's running on fumes of pride
You know Man
Setting aside pride is to lose your mind
We are men dammit
What we look like failing to provide
So hopefully his wife understands why
Speaking of hard times
Lost my job couple days ago
Eventually it has to come out
How I'm gon say it though
You didn't hear me
I'm a man dammit
Did I say that clearly
I rather go for broke these next few weeks
Hoping I get employed
I remember being in this state I was emotionally destroyed
Trying to fill the financial void
I received from financial aid for fucking up in kingsborough
Ever since 2012 life seems like torture
I built the 700 needed to pay it off
Reality destroyed the ground my family needed to get across
So I used that money as ground so she can walk
Otherwise we'd have no place to live and we'd be lost
So here I am rebuilding what I saved
Through obstacles of making sure my share of rent is paid
Then the day
Comes where I'm once again out of a job
Bracing myself so I don't take my anger out on God

"The beginning of intensifying unhappiness and frustration
Yeah nigga
Your pride gets no vacation
I wanna see how you gon make it
Through this era again
I lost control of you before but never again
I'll make sure you're never hopeful
Always writing bout your pain
Write everything you bout to go through
Then share it for your facebook friends to ignore you
Then try to write yourself into so-called having faith
Meanwhile I'll have the weight of uncertainty tugging at your waist
Masturbate looking at your face
Getting off on your depression
So much for your blessing
Your gift
Your way with words
Your so-called beauty in the struggle will slay your nerves at my command
And God will stand by
Watch this pathetic man cry
Watch this pitiful man whine about suicide in his poetry
I'm gonna make you live your words hopefully
Sooner than 30
As time rides we'll see whose words are worthy
Of taking at face value
And of course
How Much Your Pride Cost
Best believe
I won't stop until it cost you everything"