I am Trying

I'm trying.
Believe me,
I'm trying.
The path is twisted,
Full of shadows and doubt.
It's curling and winding,
Screaming at me to shout.
But I hold in my breathe,
And I smile at you instead.
I'm trying,
Believe me, I am trying.
When I see that you're happy,
A smile is on my face.
But then I remember,
How we had our own happy days.
And I want to scream and cry,
Don't you see that you were wrong?
Sometimes I want to die,
Because now I don't know where I belong.
And I am trying, every single day.
I am trying to be okay.
But sometimes I can't help it,
Sometimes I just feel sick.
Trust me, I am trying.
And It's all I can do.
To try and forgive,
Hoping I don't lose.