I forgive you ?

every time our bodies collided, 
i always closed my eye lids,
the pain i felt with every thrust in,
the pain from the lies,
The pain from when your fist collide,
on my pale skin,
from the ride home to the time I finished my shower, 
The blood had come to the surface,
Trapped, 
Like me,
In one spot, 
a blood clot,
the bruises will heal, 
but the host of it never will...
Psilocybin,
freed me from the bad trip within, 
took me places ive never been,
that's until i had a bad thought,
talk about a bad trip,
imagine reliving what I had just did,
I still wanna know what I did,
you promised you wouldn't hit me like you did,
my fault because I always forgive,
in this case fuck forgiveness,
you did this,
all this hate, 
All this pain,
but some how here I lay, 
Back in this bed, 
I'm closing my eyes and I'm holding my head, 
you see enjoyment, 
But I'm fighting this pain, 
my mind is corrupted,
but I heard that right,
"I love you",
oh that's definitely something, 
fighting this pain just for you,
all of me,
just for you, 
just until my trip is over and I'm back to the root,
I forgive you ..