I Guess

It’s often hard for me to
Breathe properly when
You’re not around. I tend
To miss… think about you
More than I should, and
More often than not my
Daydreams turn into
Nightmares at the sudden
Hot graze of a stranger’s
Hand freezing my spine
Solid, rigid in place, eyes
Tight. Gone. A sharp
Breath brings me back to
The reality of early
Mornings and tired eyes
And cold showers. Alone.
Sad eyes look at me through
Stained glass, and for a
Second I almost feel sorry
For myself, before I realise
I deserve what I’ve become.
I hardly remember the time
When my red carpet was
White and poems that I
Write weren’t read and
Only I knew that I knew
Nothing about myself.
And then I realised that,
For a split second, I wasn’t
Thinking about you. Funny,
That. The only thing stopping
Me thinking about you is
Thinking about myself. I
Guess some things never
Change. I guess that’s
Where I went wrong. I
Guess you just couldn’t
Stand me anymore.