I Hate

I hate you.

Not like hitler hate the jews no.

I hate you with a personal hatred.

A hatred that i vow to because i dont hate you.

I hate everything about you, I dont trust you.

But yet I still pity you.

For your health problems and the fact that no one in the world can stand you.

But I hate you.

I hate you for bringing my mother down and using her money.

I hate the way you flirt with everyone.

I hate how u put down my piercings, my hair, my weight and virtually everyting about you.

I hate that you look at other peoples daughters and tell me I should look like them

I hate that I dont remember.

I hate that I feel like something happened to me as a child but I will never know.

Because I don’t remember.

I hate mom.

The woman I love the most because she would never listen to me when I said I don’t trust you.

I hate that she let it all slide when I told her you watched me shower. Or when you would touch me when I layed with you guys but you would tell me the next day you thought I was mom.

I hate CPS

For having 3 molest based cases to girls in your household and no one ever put the pieces together.

I hate myself.

Because for some reason something happened to me. Which I dont remember.

But I do remember molesting kammie when I was 8 years old.

I touched her. I got her to touch me.

Now she isnt mentally all there and I know thats partially my fault.

I hate myself.

Because I dont even believe my own story

Because I will never actually do anything about it because I still care about you

I hate this town

I wish I could leave. Just come back for your funeral and put it all behind.

I hate myself

For having all this blind hatred that Im never going to change. Never going to leave.