I honesty done this idk why no why

if only if i could feel if only if i could understand why she left I'm not even sure now. If only if i said something now it's too late I'm not sure anymore could you Please help me please please just help me understand why she left me alone and  depressed never to been seen or spoken to ever again if only if i stoped her. mabey i would be okay do i blame her or do i blame myself the day only will repeat.  cause I'm not even sure anymore could you please help me please please just help me. 

I'm not even sure anymore. 

But it's okay i will never give up i will always keep your promises our secrets to myself never to be shared i will take them to my grave. 

I'm not even sure anymore what I'm talking I'm just confused again i just wish i could talk to You.