I miss you.

When did life become so hard?
When did hearts start ripping you apart
when did getting up become such a chore?
When did we stop paying attention to the law?
When did friends start leaving you when you’re down?
When did family stop being around?
When did threatening messages become a daily thing?
When did we lose our will to sing?
Life has changed so much for me, I wish it wasn't true
I guess I stopped caring when I lost you
It’s been many years since I've seen your face
But as my best friend you will never be replaced
On September 9th year after year, I will sit there and cry
That's the day you left me, why’d you have to die
That phone call destroyed a large part of me,
That phone call hurt more than anything I’ll ever see
You were my everything, and I wish it could be reversed
I sit there with a cake and sing happy birthday every January first
I don't know what to do anymore; I need you to get through
I think about dying frequently to be reunited with you
But why on earth did you kill yourself, you were only just a kid
I really don't think I will ever come to terms with what you did
I still fall asleep with a tear in my eye
I've been waiting so long just to say goodbye
When you died you took away my happiness, you took away my smile
I cried for months closer to a year, I won’t be whole for a while
I'll sit there with teary eyes trying to speak to you
I don't know if you can hear me but there's nothing I wouldn't do
I just want you to hold me, whenever I begin to cry
I know you can't be here with me, but I’m not ready to say goodbye
Now you’re gone you won’t get to grow up and get married or be a perfect dad 
I just wish that you'd come back to live the life you should of had
The life you should have had with me.