I miss you

How can I say I miss you without admitting it to myself,
I don't want to miss you,
I know I shouldn't,
But I'm a magnet and you're a solid piece of metal,
You draw me in closer and closer without even realising,
Blowing down my defences as if they were paper in a storm,
I try not to,
But how can I resist the piece of chocolate being waved in my face after a long week of dieting,
You're the cold winters breeze and I'm the blossom on a tree,
No matter how many times I tell myself I don't need you I do,
I don't want to miss you,
But the Polaroids of what used to be are glued to my walls,
Tempting me into the rabbit hole,
I'll dive in with my eyes closed already aware of the outcome,
I hit the bottom,
Greeting the past as if it was an old friend,
I don't want to miss you,
But some things I just can't fight off