I wish to cry

I wish to cry

I will use the old dogs death

To splinter

The ice

The mans  death that leaves his wife

Handless

And the rotten fruit that is my flesh

Tainted by the flex of youths

Let my eyes recall a river

Let the sound my bird makes as he dropsdead from his perch 

Be heard again and again in my self choked oblivious brain

All the birds that have died beneath my roof

Go stiff in my hand 

And all the winters after cling

To the year like dog matter

Barely a tear this substance that gathers

At the corner of my eye

I will shave my head and say it is for summer

Go out in the summer

Where the fireweed has gone missing

And the ant scurry for no reason

In the field a flex bag of garbage yield

Pulled and draped

While a

 stones throw away 

There is a dumpster

I cannot cry

The pain too slow to flow

The sorrow like a deep watered and ugly fish thrashes below

Flick its tail to 

Defy what grief

I have I cannot cry

There is to be no easy relief

Not the flow of water

But a stone overgrown with the ease I have let it all alone

And turned my face away

And turned my face away