In The Gears

I don't understand how to love myself 
When I hate my self so deeply
Constantly letting people I care for down
Not being the me I need to be
The things I do to show my love
Happen to discretely 
And when I flat out tell my feelings
No one seems to believe me
The thing I wanted most in this life
Is to be a good father, boyfriend and man
But it seems the rule set 
Is too difficult for me to understand
It sucks knowing that I'm never gonna be
The greatness is stuck somewhere inside
Caught in the gears of the machine
I just have to swallow my pride
And realize I'm far to damaged to ever work correctly
And become another resident in the land of misfit toys
And know the pain I feel inside
Is never gonna shift to joy

By LukeCoomer (c)