Instead

Instead

I wish that I could explain to you

all  the thoughts inside my head,

string words into sentences

instead of crying in my bed.

Tell you what I feel inside

instead of just wanting to run away,

not knowing how I’m going to cope

and make it through the day.

I wish I could hold you

and feel safe inside your arms,

instead of sobbing into my hands

tears flowing down my palms.

I wish that we could be together

instead of such worlds apart,

fall asleep on your chest at night

listening to your heart.

I wish that I could touch you

like normal couples who’re in love,

wearing your hands on mine

like soft old leather gloves.

I wish I could have the real you

instead of this virtual life,

I wish we had a real future

You my husband me your wife.

I wish the words would pour out

I wish that I could talk,

but you don’t hear me anyway

so instead I take a walk.

I have so many wishes

all drowning in my head,

reality crashing over them

not much left now most are dead.

So, I know you aren’t a genie

and wishes don’t come true,

I guess I need to be content

with an iPhone instead of you.