It Could've Been Adonis
an old one of mine
She met him at a singles bar
And could not believe her eyes,
It could've been Adonis
Sat there at the side.
She sipped her cocktail slowly
And tried her hardest not to stare
As she wondered what on earth
He was doing there.
This man could've surely had his fill
Of any girl he wanted.
But he wanted her and so she went to him
Totally undaunted.
"Well, hello handsome," were her words,
"Do you mind if I join you?"
And then she sat down anyway —
Just as he wanted her to.
He bought another drink for her
And undressed her with his eyes —
She couldn't help but blush
When he stroked her skinny thighs.
She was vulnerable and broken
And wanted herself a man
To mend her shattered heart
As a new love sometimes can.
She almost didn't go that night
To the singles bar in town —
She almost stayed at home
But courage was somehow found.
They talked all night so naturally,
It was as if he was her prize —
A man that a lost girl waited for,
For all of her life.
"I will give you chains of gold
Along with roses oh so red,
If you will give your heart and soul."
That is what he said.
She had never met a man before
Who could read her mind so well,
She was prepared to give him anything
To become his belle.
They were the last to leave the bar,
They had talked and laughed all night —
And then he went and kissed her
Beneath a street light.
"I will give you all my love
And give you, too, my heart and soul
If you take away my tears
And make my torn heart whole."
That is what she said to him
And she kissed him fully back
Then she noticed how his gorgeous eyes
Looked so very black.
As they walked off hand in hand
Side by side along the street,
She could not believe how she had landed
On her lucky, high heeled feet.
"I don't believe I know your name,"
She giggled nervously.
He looked at her and grinned.
"Lucifer," said he.
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Comments
Love it!! Gave me goosebumps 😆
Lol! Thanks for reading and for your comment x
Ha ha...end line brilliant!!! Well it's all brilliant but I didn't see THAT coming lol.
Reads perfectly Tina, and the story really flows beautifully...more than that though, it is so very relateable to everyone I should imagine. Also, how many girls have done exactly that....met their very own Lucifer never to be heard from again! Always love it when you post and you never ever
dissapoint my friend...never...3 million stars girl...fab read ❤️
Glad you liked it, Marion, it's one I wrote a while back now. I agree with you ... many girls ( and guys) find themselves with a "Lucifer" x
I agree. You know what your talking about. I don't know about the ending being lucifer was so shocking. I've been cast out also, because I choose to believe in me. But, I've got a soul, which I won through hard work, I might add, and He has to let me through those Golden gates! So no burning up. Go for me. Loved your poem! I think I want to buy your book.
Thanks for reading, Rory! And thank you, too, for the fab comment. Glad you like the poem x
Hello Being Me...
I agree HJ and Marion...
Definitely didn't see that end coming...
Great write!
Thank you for sharing...
sparrowsong...
So happy you enjoyed reading it, Sparrowsong. Thankyou x
Darn near perfect .. jeez what a way to end an evening .. I was not expecting anything like the punchline .. talk about a conversation stopper .. Write on girl, I love it when you are on a roll .. N x
Hi Neville ...really glad you like it. This is actually one I wrote a while back. A bit of a fun write x
No problem, I absolutely did .. x
Oooh, really liked this one!!
of course when vunerable, we pursue much riskier behaviour and those who can prey on them do...
Great poem
Lorna xx
Thankyou Lorna! Yes, I agree, the Lucifers of the world seek out the vulnerable. You have hit the nail on the head with your comment. Thanks for taking the time to read the poem x
Your usual excellence 😉
You are so kind, John, as usual. Thanks for reading x
I knew there was something sinister going on, it's always to good to true, this could be the beginning of a great novel, you should expand on this. Maybe the woman is an Angel in disguise trying to capture lucifer.
Excellent poetry, brilliant story, as always.🙏
Well now, there's an idea, Gerard! I like your way of thinking. I am happy you like the poem thankyou soooo much for reading x
Wonderful write for this season of fright !! Enjoyed it , cheers Bradford
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading x
Wonderful as you are
Thank you, Greg x
He comes to us with such a beautiful face and a voice so sensually sweet ...fits of fighting our knowing better are all but laughter emerging from his defeat...
RUN GIRL RUN LOL
Well received.Good write 🖤
Love your reply, Raechel! Thanks so much for reading. Much appreciated x
LOL 😂 oh you had me going right to the last line,
Absolutely love this stanza
"I will give you all my love
And give you, too, my heart and soul
If you take away my tears
And make my torn heart whole.".
A very fun read, I was thinking all the way through this is just too perfect lol
May Lucifer and she have a very happy ending 🌹 😆
Awww, Shirley, thankyou for popping by and reading! I'm so glad you liked this fun little poem.
As for their happy ending, who knows? Maybe? Perhaps?
Thankyou again x
A clever and complete poem, something young writers can only aspire to. You are an inspiration to me Tina, don't forget that!
Hi Max! Lovely to see you here on my page. I'm so glad you like this poem. Thank you so very much for taking the time to read and comment. Always much appreciated. Cheers x
My Dearest Being Me,
Your powerful poem demands more than a mere haiku response, us when we were single, all having aspirations of that lucky night when we would meet our soulmate. I was one of the fortunate ones, meeting my Linda at a Thursday night singles dance, and us pledging our eternal love four nights later. Yet, I too suffered the broken dreams perpetrated by lascivious Lucifers.
Only now I give you my haiku.
One day your search ends
You find who Fate intended
Share eternal love
Peace and love,
Larry xxx
Hi Larry, Thankyou for reading my poem. And your haiku is brilliant! Thankyou x
This is priceless! Why didn’t I write this??? Because I couldn’t.
Seriously, this is seriously good.
Keep well Being Me. B
You are very kind, Bernadette! Thankyou for reading. And thankyou for such a generous comment xx
I really enjoyed this epic piece, especially the ending.
- Syd
Thankyou, Syd. Very kind of you to say so and much appreciated. Glad you liked it x
You’re great, Kiddo, I missed you. I could read you forever. It’s funny, when you know someone, and realize what a kind, wonderful person they are, reading their poetry even takes on more meaning, doesn’t it? ❤️❤️
Thank you! Very kind of you to say xx