It's not okay.

I feel as if there are two parts of my heart
The place that offers love and the side that is dark
I'm itching for some closure in some type of way
The reason that you hurt me and why you wanted me to stay
You've tainted my thoughts and I've succumbed to the pain
Hoping for one moment that I'll change
But the ache you've left in my soul overwhelms me every time I try to start
You say that I blame you for everything
You say that my excuse is that it's always your fault
Those two sentences couldn't be more true
You've destructed my inner warmth
I had to spell it out for you
I had to make you see
I had to alphabetize and dumb down the fact that you raped me.
The sad fact is you thought I was lying
You thought forcing yourself upon me while I was unconscious was flattering
I would wake up knowing I've been touched
A physical break in,
My body got robbed.
The whole relationship was a lie but I don't want to take it back
You showed me that gentle words don't always matter
You can talk all you want
You showed me someone can say they love you when they definitely don't
Actions speak louder than words and your actions left marks
Inside and outside and both hurt to the touch
I was scared to leave because I didn't want you to lose yourself
But if I knew what I know now,
I would've realized there is no soul in your host.
If you loved me you wouldn't of hurt me
You wouldn't of left these images in my head
I gave you every ounce of myself
I had nothing left to give
I'm still recovering
I still don't know what to do
When people get close to me I watch everything they do
There is no trust in my life it's a concept I don't understand
I never had the option, was never given the chance.