Judge Me

Our apartment like JENGA blocks within seconds perfectly put together than a drunk bastard of step-dad having a bad day came home with ALCOHOL on his breath and tore it down just like the BIG BAD WOLF

His huff and puff was with his FISTS the sister like straw the mom like wood and myself trying to stay strong like a BRICK

He was a true DEMOLITION KING picking us all apart after all he was in CONSTRUCTION if only he learned how to build happy homes

Our family truly a PUZZLE missing most of the pieces just flat out UNDESIRED a true cloud of NEGATIVE energy always above us maybe that's WHY JESUS could never see US or hear our PRAYERS

I truly HATE my childhood it kills me to think of the things IVE SEEN an INNOCCENT GIRL SCREAMING FOR HELP STOP HITTING ME

as the keys to my computer catch tears from the FEARS it STILL has on me as an ADULT trying to HEAL knowing she needed my help but at AGE 6 try fighting a grown MAN

DRUGS.ALCOHOL.SEX.RAPE .ABUSE no this isn't a VIDEOGAME its MY unfortunate CHILDHOOD
a product of RAPE statutory is how the story goes

at AGE 8 do you think you hear STATUTORY no so there's that pill I swallowed for years as I became a man

IMAGINE thinking your the product of a SCUMBAG TAKING ADVANTAGE OF A WOMAN then hearing people say regularly YOU ARE what your MADE FROM

9 PUBLIC SCHOOLS total before I dropped out because I got a GIRL PREGNANT at age 16 I was just a BABY MYSELF

DEMONS from the PAST calling all the PLAYS I'm just a PLAYER in the GAME they convinced me was SAFE

VOICES of not my own became my HOME always there FOR ME so they became a program as I wait and take ACTIONS for THEIR DEMANDS

so when I SAY I SHOULD be a STATISTIC or DEAD i really MEAN it, im not trying to be dramatic or paint a false picture

THIS IS SELF HELP for MY SELF HEALTH my ex said I was fake afraid of the MAN I TRULY was but that just WASNT THE CASE . BELIEVE ME I JUST WASN'T PROUD

would you be ? so please DONT JUDGE ME 
IM NOT THAT SCUM 
THAT I WAS RAISED TO BE BENEATH THE FEET OF MENTALLY UNSTABLE ADULTS also known as MY PARENTS

I have nothing to HIDE I AM not of that cloth they covered me in from BIRTH just the REALITY but it's a CONSTANT STRUGGLE I battle and IM a GOOD PERSON deep down inside

My mission is to BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE I NEVER WAS TAUGHT THAT or RAISED TO BELIEVE IT hard to BELIEVE isn't it ?

MeNtAl HeAlTh AwArEnEsS