King Sized Bed (part 1)

Still Single:
Introduction:
Here I am. Back with what you think is gonna be a fantasy or a dream of my past. Well this is not that type of poem. This is what I go through. How I get through it. How I keep faith. And just believe. It happens, so don't comment saying this or that. I don't need advice nor a inspirational talk. I only done poetry  anyway so that I can express the way I feel without means of feedback that I already know. Just sit here, read, and be patient with me. Not everything I say is stupid or in disbelief or even just me running from my problems. Now I gotta face in order to say I'm over it...... For good.

The Wake Up:
How do you mentally prepare for a break up? Do you delete text's? Pictures? Do you just say fuck it? Do you let it go right then and there? Like how? How do you prepare to know that the person you loved for many months or years is not there anymore? Truth is you don't. You don't know what's going on. Some may know it's coming. Other's don't, and loses control. See when you wake up do you still them in your bed? Do you wake up and feel around for them and realize that they're not there anymore. I did. Crazy thing is she was never there is was some what of a long distance. She could come here but not every time. I go there but not- you know etc. But that never stopped me from visioning her being there with me smiling. I would smile back cause I got a text from her. It would make me happy cause I got her. I loved that feeling. But now when I wake up I don't her neither on my left or right. I don't get a text. I just lay there and smile cause I still great. Even after almost a year of being single. 

The Regrets:
After a break up of a long term relationship who doesn't have them, it's part of life. You start to question yourself like it's your fault. Which in some cases could be if you're that type of person who caused the break up. Sometimes you don't know that it's a lesson all this time. You just gotta learn. Learn all of your mistakes, take them in stride. When you do, you don't feel them "questions" coming on anymore. Stop over thinking don't become..........me alright I try to face it every single time and I do. Well at least I think I do. I feel like what else would I have to work on because that's the only question in your head. You feel that you got it down to a science and that you're okay. You're ready. Your mind and maybe even god would disagree. You have clear your mind sometimes meditate on what's next for you. But the strange thing is that this my meditation. So I may never escape.