Confusion

Sometimes you’re just waiting for the penny to drop
As it slowly rolls along the table, before briefly stopping at the edge
Pausing only long enough to make it fall too late.
You were always just there, but I was busy chasing shadows
And I only noticed you were gone because without the sun there is no shade.
Now I’m reaching in the dark, searching for a switch
Something that can answer all the questions which-
Are hurling round my head.
There was a brief warming in my chest, broken by the sinking of my heart
By the time I’d lit the fire, you’d walked out the door
And I can’t even stop you because I’m not even sure
If this is enough to call you back for.
The coin may have dropped
But has it hit the floor?
I lean closer and there’s a smile on your face.
But there’s too many memories to risk it turning sour.
Trying to take baby steps is great until you realise- that’s a very slow pace.
And now between us, for once, I don’t feel in power.
But then maybe that’s why I feel how I feel
Because I didn’t love you, now someone else will.