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The heart wants what it wants but the brain is calling the shots, the mind is pulling the strings. The past pain dictates the subconscious and what it deems safe, the foundation for all decisions made.
All I can say is please learn from your mistakes, how many must be lost before we realize the cost of our unhealthy thoughts?...How many? Among many from the past, she stood out the most! She was the one that I wish I could have back but the heart took the backseat to the brain and all the illusions it made. A dangerous game our minds can play when we don't fix ourselves after being hurt, a dangerous game indeed!