Letter to PAPA

This letter I hope it finds you,
I still save the letters you wrote to me,
They were piling up when you were alive,
As I read them you come back in my heart,
I push to survive,
You asked me to become a nurse so I could care for you,
That wasn't my path I didn't like the sight of blood,
I wish I became one,
 So at least I would've been by your side,

I was hurt and sad when you were sick and died,
 Three years later I still feel your playful pinches,
Saying hello as I walked by your famous chair you sat every day in,
I cry every time I talk about you to peers,
I wish you didn't leave us to soon,
 You kept the family together,
 
You prayed for us gave us advice,
Told us to never leave or forget each other,
I miss you papa that's what you would say to call you,
Not grandpa not grandfather
PAPA 
You are so special to me in my heart,
Its crying now ever since you went so far,
I couldnt stand to see you in that casket looking alone,
I knew you were going to a better place,
 I prayed,
I cried when I had to go back home,
 Knowing you would not be sitting on your chair,
Saying HELLO,
So many times I want to tell you were I am now,
I know you around somewhere ,
Watching me from affar,
With a glow around your your face,
Resting glow, 
I love you PAPA 
I wish you never left,
My heart is healing as I read each letter sent