Life's Path
Barefooted on the jutting rock
I stood
safely, homely with
Clear blue aboveย
Deep blue belowย
With silent gentle pressure on my back
familiar hands pushed.
Shivering hands covered sound stricken ears
Roaring falls thundered beneath
water rushing and racing
cascading into foamy depthsย
so far downย
curving curves with a primal force.
I was afraid.
I stepped out beyond my rock
and for less than a millisecond,
I pausedย
enthralled at life
suspended in the sky
and for less than a millisecond,ย
I saw the land in all its glory,
meandering silky ribbons
upon jagged faces reflecting
cotton clouds in sunkissed skies
and beyond lay the glistening sea,
full of secrets and mystery
Ah an oh so peaceful facade
and I would have liked to stay
so safe in the air
but then...
My paused life
began to play
in an explosion of tumultuous noiseย
and I fell
raging
crashing
furiousย
as I plummeted from my safetyย
and into the unknown waters.
I sank slowly, soundlessly
and I was surprised.
Fish swam sleepily
all contently swimming towards the seaย
softly nudging by meย
encouraging me
urging me
and as I floatedย
I realised that I had to swim too
towards the sea
and that it would be a tough path to take
but I wasn't alone
I 'm not alone
and so we will swim
towards the future
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Comments
Wow!! SALLY!!... the use of descriptive phrasing here is outstanding ~ {specifically your choice of inclusive adjectives}....... truly makes the entire narrative that much more compelling ~
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ~ "meandering silky ribbons
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Upon jagged faces reflecting
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Cotton clouds in sun kissed skies.."
VERY well crafted.....VERY smooth brushstrokes dear poet sister!!ย .....tons-O-stars!!.......high fives girlfriend!!......T xo ?โดโค
Awe that's so sweet thank you so much, Tony!
I was applying for courses in college and it just scared me that high school is over in two weeks!
It's always nice to see your comment on my poems :)
Amazing!!ย
Thank you :)
Wonderful piece of work
Thank you always for your support :)
This is really a great poem. I like your great description.ย
Good work Mitsaliย
Thank you :)
And you say your jealous of my talents lol.ย What an awesome write.ย I was literally there whilst reading, captivating.
Awwe thank you, Simon :)
??really awesome writing there .ย
Thank you, Edward :)
Very captivating and enthralling write . Lovely work. DD x
Thank you so much :)
Great write
thanks for sharingย
Thank you for reading :)
Cool write!!
Thank you Crystal :)
The imagery and cadence are stellar! wow superb write
Thank you Lisa :)
Lucky, people keep trying to hold me under with lead nets...ย
No matter. You shouldn't give up :)
This is the first poem i have ever read till the end that does not rhyme because this is the first poem that doesnโt rhyme that i loved. Fabulous write x
Oh my gosh, that is so sweet of you Fiona!
Thank you so much xx
Well it is so true xxxx