Lipstick and a Bluebeard

I loved to show my feminine side by wearing short skirts and tights
Because I could no longer hide my feelings, though some said it’s not right
My mother always told me I should have been a girl
She said that I was pretty, with my blonde hair full of curls.

All the young men wondered what I have down below,
But never asked any questions, as it is a place they dare not go.
Some people were cruel and shouted out abuse.
And called me a weirdo, and said I am obtuse.

So I asked the Doctor to help me stop the growth of my hair
As lipstick and a blue beard made everybody stare.
He put me on the waiting list to remove unwanted parts
He told me my new fanny would be ‘State of the Art’.

Then I would have a boob job to get myself some tits
And add a little Botox to give me sexy lips
Now I walk in high heels and wiggle my backside
When I pass a building site, I catch all the workers’ eyes

I am hoping now to find someone to love me for who I am
But I am afraid of his reaction when I reveal I was once a man.
I know I should be honest the first time that we meet
But he will probably punch me on the nose and make a quick retreat

So I guess I will be naughty and tell him porky pies
Hoping he will fall for me before my big surprise
Maybe his reservations will fade far into the blue
And I will be so happy as all my dreams come true.