Looking back

So many years have passed by
I look back uneasy as I do
I see a tunnel dark,
forbidding.
Shadows lingering,waiting,
one step forward, and two back
I peer into the tunnel
and am sad.

Regrets I have many
wounds caused need to be healed
is there time enough to do this deed
my heart sings and smiles, yet
my mind is melancholic.
To those I wronged
I am sorry
to those I neglected
I am sorry
but sorry is never enough,
my heart weeps,
my memories hold you close.

My collar upturned to
the drizzling rain
by abandoned docks
the wind fresh,
almost a hurricane,
swirling in my brain
the cranes hang
like drooping willows.

The sun slowly sinking,
skies darkening.
my thoughts
setting sail
with the leaving ships
my eyes
the looking glass
into the past.
Who was I?
what have I done?
where am I going?
where have I been?
what regrets have I?
what hopes and desires
had I?
My thoughts a whirlwind
of chaos
questions upon questions
making me dizzy, so alone!
the tunnel grows darker,
my steps slower
my heart heavier
tears flow, yet……

I cry not for myself
the tears flow for
the sadness I caused
wounds inflicted
and neglect imposed.
Forgive me
For I cannot.
© Alan Noakes