Poem -

Lost at sea?

(art work > an excerpt from a drawing by my wife)

Lost at sea?

           (I am your wife, not
            a graveyard for empty sorries
)

In the beginning there was
nothing moving,
all still till we met,
melted to one in dark waters.
           (I cannot be your stronghold, always)

In these waters time began to exist. I was becoming,
aware of your skin in this dark womb,
skin that vanished, leaving me utterly
alone,
though I was not aware by words.

I seemed (lifelong) lost in a sea,
adrift on hidden currents,
tiny turtle alone in the deep,
dreaming me to believe the waves
hallowed.
             (there was no light by moon)

For too many years I let time unhinged
in inner darkness, cold to myself, henged in guilt
             (you did not steal his life)

In that sea there could be
no fire.
             (but by my smoke I will be pythia
              break the seal, wake you
)

to find our wyrd-lock had unwittingly ruled
            (our marriage).

Now I begin finding my tears,
pearls screaming black loneliness from the sea floor,
muted by absence of light (yet dawn has come),
but for real: they are a gateway into the henge
of empty shells I built.

Hear me, if I dare,
see me, if I can find my self,
the way in marks the path out
unfreezing time into

we’ve become
more open (
now we’re closer

 

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Comments

author
Being Me

This line is just awesome. It's a brilliant first line.

"(I am your wife, not

            a graveyard for empty sorries)"

​​​​​​​How many wives feel like that? Even husbands for that matter! Loads, I bet. 

​​​​​​​Great poem!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reply
author
John Loopstra

Thank you, it has been a struggle to get our marriage going (for 36 years, not because of a lack of love, but because of too much trauma on both sides, this is about my side as a Womb Twin Survivor (basically, because all other shit was a consequence of being a WTS). Now that we have solved a lot of it, my poetry is changing and becoming more and more true...

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