Misery fills the cavity in my heart.
I’ll always be…afraid of snakes.
You always love the unexpected.
I’ll always be…not tall enough.
You raise the bar effortlessly.
I’ll always be…on a permanent diet.
You’re always flexing your face in the mirror.
I’ll always be …invisible in a corner, my face a mask.
You will open your mouth and illuminate the dark.
I’ll always be…your biggest fan.
You’ll always be unaware of me.
I’ll always be… hidden, watching you .
You’ll always be smiling at the pretty ladies.
I’ll always be …anticipating when I, alone, can have you.
You’ll always be careless about walking in alone.
I’ll always be…ready with my nitrous oxide to quieten you
You’ll just keep breathing….gently, so gently..
I’ll always be ..looking and touching your senseless face.
You’ll always be my defenseless prisoner
I’ll always be…ready to painlessly hurt you.
You’ll always want to avoid me
I’ll always ensure my love wont decay.
You’ll always be ….so grateful to me…and
I’ll always be….your besotted dentist
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Comments
You have a remarkable ability (and take a perverse delight!) in leading the reader up the garden path!
Imbalance is the very cornerstone of unrequited love and the ingenious procedure of this poem. The patient/object of desire is so deified in the dentist's mind that some of the attributes ascribed ("You will open your mouth and illuminate the dark.") could be direct quotes from some esoteric holy book describing an ancient god!
But then comes this (above-quoted) volta and the imbalance swings in the other direction as the poem darkens...but even in the light of the revelation at the end, this subtle demonstration of power is no less disturbing!!
Brilliant, funny and not a little unnerving!!!
J ;)
We are back to the imagination thing again Jason!!
I rather enjoy sticking a fork in the road and seeing where it leads and in my case it appears to lead to seemingly murderous intent...or not!!
My husband has taken to sleeping with a knife under his pillow after reading a couple of my poems!!! poor soul
Your comments are always guaranteed to make me laugh and if mine gave you a smile...albeit..slightly unnerving.... then job done!
Thanks so much for your terrific evaluation- scarily accurate !
Lodigiana xx
you got me!!!! I was suckered right into that- well done! love the twists and turns- very well constructed and a real fun read! xx
wow love so much as you lead the leader to where you want them to be... So enticing!!!!
Thanks so very much Gregory...thrilled that you enjoyed it..such fun!!
Lodigiana xx
My Dear Lodigiana,
In the caverns of my aching heart
The cavities are full
The pain in there incessant
Impossible annul
.
For you are all I'll never be
I've tried but cannot change
My love for you is eternal
But you will forever find me strange
.
Love,
Larry xxx
Very well constructed and who doesn't love a great twist?
Hi Keith so pleased you enjoyed it !! love popping in a bit of a surprise sometimes.Thanks so much for reading and your lovely comments!
Lodigiana xxx