Music box
Endless and pristine she spins
In glistening mirrored imageryΒ
Starring in the whirling winds
Magnetic in her symmetry.
Β
Alive again the music plays
With seamless winding virtueΒ
A painted smile upon her face
Each movement flowing true
Her darkness often drowningΒ
Only when the music ends.
Inside alone shes frowningΒ
Always yearning to transcend
Β
Once again light does shine
Though she feels somewhat depletedΒ
A moment then the stars alineΒ
And she sees the crowd is seated
Endless and pristine she spins
In glistening mirrored imageryΒ
Starring in the whirling winds
Magnetic in her symmetry.
Alive again the music plays
With seamless winding virtueΒ
A painted smile upon her face
Each movement flowing true
Darkened days get longer
And her key now lost in time
In light she feels much stronger
With hopes her song will chime.
Β
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Comments
superb!
Thanks lisa xx
It is superb and beautifully imagined and written.Β
And that is so, so cleverΒ by repeating certain verses to show her key has been wound again and things in life are reset to repeat again.
Love and simply captivated by your final stanza and just adds to your beguiling seamless poem.
The poetic icing that is wonderful to reread and the message in its subtext.
Sending an email link to my daughter with this one and I know she'll enjoy it as well.
Thanking you so much for sharing and writing something special.
A great write.
Β
Thank you for taking the time to read my poems, I hope your daughter likes this one too
I really appreciate your detailed account, its people like you who really help poets flourish and feel confident in their work
thank you again
Lorna x
Lorna, a realΒ pleasure and emailed her yesterday eve'.
And her name's Rebecca and named her after that great Daphne du Maurier novel.
And good to hear any constructive feedback helps and goes a long way. x.
Β
I think i have seen such a swirling doll turning round and round to soft tunes, it has inspired you into an exquisite gentle muse wow! Kudos!
Thank you xx
Here you have given life, purpose and meaning to an almost animate inanimate object .. I would not be surprised not to see folk rushing out to buy these old musical boxes that were once so very commonplace but for some reason or other seem to have fallen out of favour recently .. Do you know what,
I think I may just pop out and buy one from our local antique store and give it to my granddaughter .. A delightful tale told terribly well .. NevilleΒ
Hi Neville,Β I'm glad you liked this one, maybe they'll comeback in fashion or be collectors items!! But I think technology has moved on. When my two boys were smaller I bought them little wind up music boxes with a song we used to sing but they wouldn't have appreciated a ballerina spinning!!Β
thank you for your lovley commentΒ
Lorna :) x
Lorna just revisiting a chiming touch of class.
Thanks again. x.
Ahh thanks Shaun, I'm trying to write a villanelle at the min, but I'm a bit stuck!! Hopfully soon xx
Lorna just got online and read your comment and good luck on writing your villanelle for they are tricky (said the hypocrite who's never written one)!
But seriously, the best of British to you and poetry kudos for going for it! x.
Give it a go,Β I tend to useΒ Sylvia Plaths "mad girls love song" as a template.
I've written a few, but at the minute my brain isn't working properly hahaha
I'll have to look upΒ Sylvia Plaths "mad girls love song" .
And good to know you've written a few so I guess you where the poetry pitfalls are and avoid them.
And probably boils down to having a darned good theme to work with, poetry putty to craft and hone, so to speak.
And my brain at the moment is out to lunch!!!