Muster

Breathing as deep as I can.Trying to irradiate the thoughts of that man . Screaming as loud as I can muster . Trying to stop my heart in such a fluster . Carrying on the way you do. Caring deeply for no one because of childhood hurt . No sorry , grown man , that just makes you a jerk . Out for all you can get . Being me has never been easy ,judged by all loved by so few .So when you say you love me I just want to spew . Throwing up all the feelings , why slap myself in the face . This body has been though enough . This mind is as rational as I can muster . Replacing me will be easy , already have someone in mind. Enslave her instead . I just want to breath easy again .