My angel

Please make me see it is you I feel near,  more times than others like your always here.
  please show me if you can if that was you I see the other night or tell me some way if I'm haunted like u always feared as a child I n the night.
 the things I think I've seen, the nightmares and weird episodes I have been through, not just alone, not just 1 home, it feels like something is following me! 
the bed feeling i get sometimes i get scared the signs of a demon being present many times, I look back o see things I have written, 
I begun  to read some things hit the pattern is so deep and the words I re read I feel emotion and feel like wow ! This shit it still happens.
  will I ever be fixed will I ever be myself again will I ever be true and b able  be loved and be happy again????? 
This eupd shit is taking it toll I feel I've broke again and still feeling so cold
I should b happy things are finally coming to a good end and half the battles complete, 
but here I sit debating life again,
as I know It far from over my target 
I just need to know if I'm going mad or if iffer its u, I talk to u the koat yet I feel my nan and grandads presence too I will y could each show me or price it some how cse I feel insane most days and I could really do with knowing u r really here or there around me and guiding g me through the the signs I think I am seeing cse I am close to going mad as a cow xxx