Writers block

I dont write no more 
I dont believe in much 
I cant seem make sense
I cant release inside myself
The fear of myself is back
The heartless bitch hated 
So many battles fighting
Struggling to even look at myself
I cant seem to smile through 
Cany concentrate for long
Self medicating abusing drugs
After all the battles I've won
I should b flying high 
I should have hope
I'm proud at how far I've come
But still hate myself 
Writers block making me sad
I always been good at writing 
Now I cant do it right 
I keep on attempting it 
I keep on fighting to try 
I am so empty though 
And messed up inside
It's different from past times
I have always struggled emotions
Expressions and inside my mind
I feel worse somehow this time 
feel like I'm going insane 
Seeing ghosts shadows too
Maybe this is just me the real me
Maybe this is just me for life doomed!