My body is not a cage

My body is not a cage.
My body is not something you can have.
I am not an inanimate object for you to use me as you please.
I am not a doll.
And My Body is not a cage.

I was only young,
when I was first sexually assaulted.
I was only young,
when I felt his hands go under my skirt, into my jeans
and up my top.
I was only young,
I did not know what was happening 
I did not feel afraid 
Because I trusted you.
I trusted you.....

I was only twelve,
when you came into my life.
When you started buying me gifts.
When you treated me like a princess, 
buying me all my favourite things.
I was only twelve,
when you first came into my room
forcefully pulled me on your lap 
and told me I was perfect.
I was only twelve,
when I felt something touching my lower body.
something rock hard,
pushing against me.
but I knew what it was,
I knew I couldn’t get away.

I was fifthteen
when one of my bestfriends decided he liked my breasts.
When he decided he liked my body.
When I felt his hands grabbing me,
at school, at the beach, at his house.
I was fifthteen
when you whispered sweet nothings in my ears.
When you decided to slap my ass.
and call me a whore.
I never knew if he was joking round.
I never knew if I could feel safe in my own skin again.
I never knew,
that if I fucking told someone
they would ask me what I was wearing
saying I deserved it
I was tempting them
tempting them with a six year old body
that I should have run away,
told my father.
they say so many things that mean nothing now.

so many god damned things that 
I was to afraid or confused to do.

but my body is not a cage,
my past will always be with me. 
but it will not control how 
my life goes.