My Heart In Poetry

When your heart hurts so bad you can't take it,
When life is so unhealthy that you can't make it,
A loved one is supposed to be able to break it,
But sometimes you just have to try and fake it.

For a little while at least till a loved one can,
Help you through the rough times and say "your the man",
Or to give you that shoulder to lean on and help you plan,
but that wait is the longest part and can seem like a life span.

Sometimes others need distance and space,
Even though doing that just hurts and makes your heart race,
It's so hard to watch others hurt when you can't help their case,
But even harder when your hurting and trying to keep pace.

If you haven't been the best in the past,
Like me, I was a really big ass,
I just hope that my I love yous and hugs and kisses weren't my last,
this time of ours is moving way to fast.

I only just found my place to be,
And it feels like your always trying to flee,
I'm sorry that I haven't been real good but you hold the key,
To my heart and I'm trying really hard to make you see.

That I want to be a good husband and a man,
I'm trying the hardest that I can,
I went and sought mental help and got a plan,
Can't you stand with me a little longer and keep me calm like a fan.

I know you're stressed and worried and don't think I care,
But I only just got the help I need so that's not really fair,
You have to give me time to change and not be a bear,
Let me try to be good so we can clear the air.

I'm not good with any money,
And no I don't think its funny,
That's why I want you to take control of it hunny,
I love you, that's why I got on one knee.

And asked you to marry me and be with me for the rest of your life,
Because your the only woman that I can see as my wife,
The vows said through good and through strife,
I'm still here, even after all the cuts with scissors and a knife.

I didn't decide to kill myself and instead went and got help,
I knew that I didn't want to be a whelp, 
I had serious injuries under my scalp,
And you seen I was crying for help.

I seen you had been hurt so many times before,
And I seen that you really didn't want one more,
But I felt it in my heart and my soul and down to my core,
That this was different and we wouldn't make each other sore.

Now we have but it has mostly been me,
And I knew it but was too stubborn to see,
I'm just glad that you're here and didn't flee,
And I'm sorry that most of the time I can't just let you be.

You make everything so much better,
I love cheese and your better than cheddar, 
Your my butterfly, my heart, my world, my love letter,
You're like the best warm sweater. 

I get sick because your not around, 
My heart hurts and it ties itself till its bound,
When I can't hug you or kiss you my soul starts to pound,
Because we are made for each other even when I'm in the ground.

I'm sorry that I ask you for so very much,
And I'm sorry that I can feel like such a crutch,
I'm sorry that I can't help it and I just have to touch,
And I'm sorry about all of my problems and such.

We can and will get though all the things,
All the worries and and problems and dings,
Remember that we both have these rings,
And our hearts see each others souls and sings.

I know I probably have no right to ask,
But I promise that I'm up to the task,
Can you give me another chance now that theres no mask,
Of my mental problems and I'm not a powder flask.

I love you so much my butterfly and I know times are hard but I'm trying real hard. I have and am continuing to get the help I need, please stay strong with me and continue to be with me.