My heart to my Butterfly

As I sit here I wonder why,
With all the stars in the sky,
Why it is to see such a sight,
And be lonely almost every night,

Why do I wait for things to come,
When I know in the end I'll just be glum,
Is it the eyes that make me stay and wait,
Or the touch that makes me anticipate,

Something so wonderful that will make me smile,
The world to fall on me in a huge pile,
Or is it the touch that makes me flutter,
That turns my body into hot melted butter,

Maybe it's the kiss upon my lips,
That always makes my heart skip and miss,
I don't know why I feel this way,
Maybe it's really just all in my brain,

Maybe my heart isn't playing the right game,
And my head is overtaking my mainframe,
Maybe I made a mistake,
And my minds just trying to overtake,

My broken heart because theres not enough words,
Not enough cuddles and and my heart is blurred,
I'm so positive that my heart is right,
And I'm already putting up the biggest fight,

That I've ever had with myself in all of my life,
But I heart keeps feeling like it's been stabbed with a knife,
I don't know what to do or how to react,
It keeps feeling like my feelings have been jacked,

By a thief that I want to steal back what they stole,
My heart and what's left of my soul,
But at the same time I truly feel a connection,
And I feel like your repairing my section,

Of my heart that's been broken in so many pieces,
It always feels like my heart just freezes,
And you start to put it back into place,
And you always have that look on your face,

Like you honestly, truly really care,
But your actions sometimes are to hard to bare,
I'm a emotional being that you just released,
And now my emotions keep looking for a feast,

It's been so long since my emotions were open,
And even longer since they were spoken,
I'm sorry that your going through so much as well,
And I know you hate me calling you my southern bell,

But your my heart, my soul, my world and more,
The only woman that I even want to adore,
My soulmate, my wife, all that I desire,
Every fiber of me sings like a choir,

In the joy that I feel like I have my soulmate,
But my brain keeps having a nasty debate,
I have pills to calm some parts of me,
But that doesn't mean you can just let me be,

My head is a scary play to hide,
And its alway fighting my heart inside,
I need you more than you'll ever understand,
You certainly wasn't part of what I planned,

I never in a million years thought I'd find you,
And never thought the love would be so true,
But as I sit here and think of forever,
It seems like the love is never forever,

This is how I feel right now in this moment,
And your the only piece and component,
That can fix my machine and make me work right,
I just want you to be a part of this fight,

But it seems like you've given up or lost your hope,
And it's making it really hard to cope,
With the thought of losing you and never having you here,
That I've started turning to a lot of beer,

To drink away my sorrow and worry,
And make it go away in a really big hurry,
To spare my heart the last ache it'll ever have,
All forms of liquor have become my salve,

To help my pain hurt less,
And I already know I'm a really big mess,
I just hope you see what's it's doing to me,
And why I keep thinking about trying to flee,

Because I don't want to lose the only thing I can call mine,
The only peice of paper I ever wanted to sign,
To hold and to cherish you till death to us part,
And I feel like I'm losing my heart,

I miss your touch, you kisses, the love,
And I don't care if it was or wasn't sent from above,
I miss the connection we have had for only a short time,
The only thing I've ever been able to call mine,

I love you so very, very much,
And I'm really sorry most of the time I'm a putz,
But you mean everything to me,
You fill me with so much glee,

All I want is you for forever,
I dont want to lose you never,
I feel like I am and it hurts so much,
And I feel like I'm being a overgrown crutch,

My butterfly, my love, my everything to me,
I just want you to help me be,
Alive in this world until we die,
And after that we can soar and fly,

This is heart and in my mind,
I know that some of this isn't to kind,
But to explain myself to you in this time,
I felt like I needed to give more than two cents so here's my dime.