" My letter to heaven !" x

" Dear Mum........

I am finding this all, So very hard to believe ?
That, From your daughters life, You had to suddenly leave !
It is so surreal, So very un-real, 
That i do not know, How to grieve ?
Or how to express the love on my sleeve ?
There is no mistake, Or no reprieve !
As silently inside , I constantly seethe 
As we put your name upon your wreath
My heart is slowly breaking beneath
The biggest 1 yet, Of life,s kick in the teeth
We will still always, Live by your beliefs 
Sleeping has become, Such a huge relief !
& one day, I hope to deal better with my grief
As you was as rare, As a clover which has 4 leafs !
& for him upstairs for taking you too soon 
Is with whom i have got so much beef
It is all so painful & so unfair 
& because i loved you so much & will always care
I never knew you were leaving, So was so un-prepared
I felt so alone, Was so afraid & scared
That day my love & my soul to you was bared !
As i imagined my life without you there 
There are still reminders of you every where 
& my poor old heart is indeed , In need of repair
& no mum to comfort me & say ..There, There
& no kisses & cuddles, My arms are now bare !
Life is a bitch & is so not fair !
That my Mummy, Is no longer here or there ?
& that is why, I do so despair ....
So, Until my lovely. We will meet again ?
I will just have to live with this pain !
& stop looking at everyone else to blame 
Cos loosing you so soon, Is such a real shame xx
My life without you , Will never be the same 
& i will make you proud, That you gave me my name !"

Tracy Timothy xx