my story

I am eclipsed with disbelief
why does it hurt
sometimes i ask myself
did i deserve to be burnt

beaten and broken
cigarette after cigarette
watching as the red ember glow
lit up all my assets

then the pain comes after
sinking into my skin
the imprint of my regrets
that was punishment for sin

I tried to turn around
make myself better
but everytime i did
i felt a little bit colder

the pain made me
to be the guy that i am
im not your average joe
ive been pushed and slammed

My mother and father
druggies and abusers
no guidance for a kid
so rebellion was my leader

the more pain they brought
was more trouble i could find
and everytime i felt the pain
my demons bubbled up inside

I tried to find an escape
but there was no hope
the good guy died
and the bad one arose

I went back and forth
pushing drugs or going to jail
skipping school four out of five days
still hustling to get bail

I thought this was a life
I could make everything with
then a wise one told me
this isnt a way to live

so now im in the army
still broken inside 
but this time instead of dieing
it is my time to thrive