Myself and Others

There are times when I feel awkward over who I am
And worry about things  I’ve said or not said,
Done or not done
Like I’m letting the side down
And I think
“What impression am I making?

There are times when I’ve done wrong
But only realised in hindsight.
And I’m not quite comfortable with who I am.
Letting people down
And I think
“What do people think of me?”

I never was an easy child- I know that now.
There’s hindsight and realisation.
Looking back I think I was “odd”
Odd interests.  Odd preoccupations.
Maybe I’m better at hiding that now.  Maybe.

I’m caught up in a fantasy World
Possibly not far from psychosis
I live my life with OCD
That’s definitely neurosis.

Caught up without thinking
What I’m doing.  Drifting
Complacency
Then reality strikes.

Ah, if I knew what the answers were.
Forgive me my sins.

MDC