NEVER AGAIN

The solid ground I count on 
shifts and crumbles beneath my feet
With nothing real to cling too
 my desperate souls left incomplete...

Suddenly,
 I'm insecure... 
and uncertain about us.
I don't know how we lost our way
 Or why in your eyes I see disgust

The darkness,
deepens,
as we speak...
my soul is changed, 
forever.
If this is it,
I swear, 
I'm done.
I will not love again. 
Ever...

I can't believe your smile's  gone. 
I should have paid attention.
I wish now,
that I'd have shared 
those feelings I failed to mention...

 I'm sorry for all I didn't do.
 I hate letting you down.
Crazy thoughts swirl in my head 
My eyes won't leave the ground.

I wish I knew a long time ago 
that you would never dare 
fall for me like I have you
It's too late now, 
I'm scared.

I say goodbye 
through gritted teeth 
I wish you wouldn't go
I wish we had remained just friends
I guess we should have known.

I want you to be happy 
Find out who you want to be
And maybe once in a great while 
You could fondly think of me.

Heidi Shavill
2016