NONSENSE POEM

Had to go for a blood test today 
I arrived at the hospital 
It was mid afternoon 
The day had moved swiftly 
From morning to noon 

I asked at reception where I should sit 
She said take  a seat 
I said where should 
I take it?
 She replied 
“Stop your cheek 
Sit down and don’t tap your feet” 

I wait for an hour 
The day it did drag 
I didn’t smoke 
But fancied a fag 

Finally it was my turn 
To have my bloods took 
I sat in the chair 
And she gave me a look
And said 

“Sit still mr overton”
 please  make a fist 
I’m not kidding you 
This is what she said 

I gave her a look 
A look of bemused 
And replied 
Sorry I think you’re 
A little confused 
I came here  for bloods 
Not for a fight 
So I left my chair 
And took off out of sight 
 
I got in my car 
It’s made of spaghetti
Then drive to the shop 
Then out of the car 
With two feet I hopped 

I bought a tin of corned beef 
To make my exhaust sound more beefy 
then shouted to my girlfriend
as I drove pasta
“where have you been 
I’ve missed ya?” 

I pulled down the road 
And parked my car 
Read the sign 
It said parking fine 
So I thought ok 
And parked on the 
Double yellow lines

 I went to the supermarket later that day 
To complain about my vinegar 
Saying  this is not right, Look at the lumps 
He smiles then proceeds to say 
Their pickled onions 
Their supposed to look that way

a few hours later 
I was talking to some friends 
they asked me my opinion 
i said “I was sat on the fence” 
they said you’d better get off 
it won’t take your weight  
 
they saw me upset 
with what had been said 
they said don’t take a fence 
so I took a gate instead 

a few hours later 
I was walking down the street 
Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder 
Funny place to put a tap 
But I’ll go with the flow 
And as I turned round I saw my mate 
Bill, 
He’s a bit of a drip
But we like to chill 

I felt a bit naughty 
So took out my key 
Scratched down the side of a car 
As I skipped merrily 

The guy saw me do it 
Much to my surprise 
He looked at his car 
And started to cry 
Said, “son you’ve just crossed the line” 
I replied,” it was squiggly 
You blind
 that’s no line”
so I took my key out 
and said there 
now that’s a line

he couldn’t believe 
what I had just done 
he saw me laughing but felt no fun 
and said, there’re is a fine line 
and you’ve drew it
 you should be ashamed 
I said I’ll draw it much thicker 
Then you can lay no blame 

I went home feeling upset 
Opened the door 
To my surprise my phone lay on the floor 
I picked it up 
It started to ring 
I said who’s talking 
He said you are you ding 
  
The call was for a job 
I’m no snob so a job is a job 
I told my girlfriend what it was 
And said I have a job at a bowling alley 
She replied” tenpin” 
I said no “its full time,
Anything else I wouldn’t waste 
My time  

I looked out the window 
Saw my garden a mess 
Rang the builders and said 
“I need a skip outside my house” 
He replied, “go ahead I’m not stopping you 
It’ s up to you what you do with your time”