Not Drinking And Driving

Something happened to me a few years ago that was really bizarre.
I was arrested for drinking and driving but I've never owned a car.
I thought that I must have been dreaming, it couldn't possibly be real.
How could I drink and drive when I've never owned an automobile?
I asked the District Attorney if it was a prank or a joke.
Even though I've never had a license, it was revoked.
I hadn't had a drink for a long time, not even one beer.
After I was arrested, the judge sent me to jail for two years.
One year after I got out, something else happened that was just as insane.
Even though I've never touched drugs, I'm in jail for buying cocaine.

(This is a fictional poem.)