One Day at a Time

Leaning on an old wood fence
letting the breeze blow around me.
The sky above is clear and bright
the clouds are far away.
I had to go far afield to feel this peace.
Leave behind cell phones and internet. 
Avoiding the intrusion of curious eyes and thoughts.
I found an island of calm
I dislike crowds and often find myself alone.
Enjoying my own inner dialogue,
It is in times like these I can sort myself out.
I cant find myself if I do not know what to look for.
This thought came to me as I walked here,.
Looking down at the ground, i saw all these stones.
Some were shiny, some dull, some were blue and green
It occurred to me why do I search these things... do I
have in mind what I am seeking?
I am seeking the quest itself, was the quiet answer.. that is the
experience at hand
To be in focus all the time is not optimum function.
One has to power down for routine maintenance.
To reconnect with who we really are... and what that person
is here for and desires,.
Not the altered persona the one styled and molded since birth.
The one I finally realized is full of goals, behaviors, preferences
that are implanted from others..
Through our childhood desire to please and be accepted
How can we be faulted if this is instilled so early... this ego
identity that has run its own programs in my life... 
But now I halt as much of  this mindless living as I can.. To
live an authentic life as possible...initially is confusing.
It is hard to make choices when you never had any.
But I am learning
Be kind to myself and realize this wasnt made in a day
But when I take each tiny step of pure me... it opens 
floodgates of emotions and thoughts... 
It brings me to alignment with my inner self and soul.
One day at a time..