One Last Cry

My body was never on the menu but I gave it to you anyway.
I gave you more than I intended
I gave you a new, unexplored part of me.
My heart.
Which didn't get much sunlight before I met you
Even though you knew you didn't deserve it.
I gave you trust.
That's how I knew I was in love with a criminal.
Selfish, closed off, pretending to be someone else.
But we attract what we're ready for.
It felt a lot like us against the world
But it was only a lie.
The love I had for you made me better.
Happy.
Mad love.
He called it mad love as he took the money off the nightstand.
I wish I didn't love you.
I wish I used you like I intended.
It was hard after we broke bread.
A family we would be.
That's what I wanted.
Your hand touched my hand and my hand touched your hand
And I never wanted to let go.
No one's hand ever touched me like yours did.
It stayed.
Oh how I wish you cared.
You say you do, I believe you.
Just not how I want you to.
So now I have to stop living this beautiful lie I created.
This fairytale
Which shouldn't even happened in the first place.
I knew what you were all about.
We exchanged war stories.
You showed me your battle wounds and I was confident I could love you anyway.
I still do.
Always.
I’m just done wasting time waiting for nothing.
I knew that nothing was waiting at the end of this journey
But I was still determined to fall because I've never done it.
I'm happy I did.
I grew up in the process.
I became more aware of what I wanted and what I needed.
I found my strength.
The sun still shines and the best has yet to come
For the both of us.
I hope it's more than we have ever imagined.
I hope it's more than we've ever tried to settle for.
But loving someone else is just a side project.
Can't nobody touch me like I can touch myself.
Can't nobody love me more than I can love myself.
So thank you.
I value what we had, I value our friendship and I'm grateful to have loved you first.